A Walk-In-The-Rain-2!!

…Continued from here

Tiki Mausi gives concerned looks to my cover-up-smile & leaves for some work. She’s phrased it in words, Out-Loud, the question silently creeping in my mind & left me to deal with it.

TIP Foundations, an enterprise, a dream fermenting over last 8 years… All efforts to plan it out since last 2 years… An ambition to set things right in the country I love… An ambition to get my friends together… A dream to Live / Die for…

A MTech degree from an University, primarily to compliment TIP Foundations; to gather related expertise, knowledge, contacts & experiences…

A new job, promising a handsome salary & new venues to explore…

You quit your 1^st ever company, holding a nice position to pursue your dreams… You come home to realise all of your friends are too busy fighting their lives… You somehow try to make things happen, but your energy keeps falling short… Your application for the MTech & the hushed up Delhi tour… Your mausaji’s forcibly uploading of your resume on the internet, so that you could get back to the conventional path of earning… As you start getting calls for job interviews, your state of complete confusion… And to make things intense, your policy of not-objecting unless you’re sure of holding a strong, valid ground…

As you stand evaluating your options, your mind wanders off into a world of its own. May be it doesn’t want to do the hectic calculations & own the risk of taking a decision towards shaping your destiny. Seems it also knows the magnitude of variation each path would lead to.

As you stand staring at the open, green fields, lightning strikes & yeah there you are standing, feeling the “baaris k chhinte” (dash of raindrops brought in by the wind) of the 1^st rains of the season on your face J …. You see some teens playing football in the rains… Some voluntarily falling & wading through the small muddy puddles… You somehow have the urge to join them… doesn’t matter that you don’t know them… Somehow your mind says, “Yeah right!! You are 25 not 15 anymore!! :P” Before the argument in your head could possibly intensify, its twilight & with the setting sun, the boys end the party n head home…

The monsoon has a healing effect of its own… You are moved by a flashback… Those wonderful days of childhood…

The eager wait for heavy rains, hoping it forces your school management to declare a rainy-day-holiday J … The eager wait to wear your new raincoat to school… But somehow every time the lashing-heavy-rains managed to stop just at 9:30am, when you start for school and you are forced to spell out curses under your breath :P After all, when can you use your new raincoat if not in this season…

In the evening, when mummy comes home, your searching looks at her hands, to see if she’s bought some garam garam (hot-fried delicacies) Aloo-chop, Baraa, Singadaa, Piyaaji, Baigani for you & your delight to find either she or papa have them packed for you JJ

The mere thought makes your mouth water & you are smiling before you even realise it… You miss those days… Wish someone was there with you to enjoy the awesome climate… You sms a friend asking if she wants to join you & shoot off for a walk-in-the-rain!!

You somehow miss a combination… The 1^st rains, a long ride on the bike with her sitting behind (all scared!), with the hot-fried-delicacies & a cutting-chai on a halt on the way… You wish she was in the same city with you…

As you walk on, you see some people enjoying the 1^st rains, some trying to look as if they tried their best not to get wet… Bells ringing high with prayers in a small temple on the footpath… The large sewage swelling like a mini river beneath the bridge on the way… You pause on the bridge to wonder at the once-stagnant brine-sewage turned into a vibrant & lively-flow of brackish waters!! A guy standing on a bridge, getting soaked, looking at the flowing bottoms does attract some stare for obvious reasons ;) And you decide to turn your way back still happily enjoying the rains…

I somehow feel, you ought to be in India to enjoy the rains…

All my childhood days, I used to think, how cool it would be to enjoy the rains in a foreign country, where you can splash the roadside puddles (without thinking of all the dirt & cow dung it could have possible washed in), where roads are supposedly clean… And when in California, I couldn’t really enjoy the rains because of the chilling winds that accompany or may be because one is not exposed to the burning heat before the season of the rains :P … Whatever the reason be, it’s the monsoons in India this time and am loving it!!

After a long walk, when you head back & stroll inside the society roads; with the outside din of the traffic dying out, the din inside you rises in pitch for you to make a final call… Which path to take??

The rain slows down, you head back to the dry n warm comfort of home; to change n sit like a good boy before Tiki Mausi is back :P

As you reach home, you see a text reply from her, wishing she could join you. Again, a smile covers your lips… & this time it's not a cover-up-smile... You may not have found an answer to the boiling hot question, but you have been healed to stand up & face it!!

A Walk-In-The-Rain!!

How easy / difficult is it to break one cycle of thoughts forever and start another?

Well, it may take an easy instant to snap or it can stretch to a very uneasy stretch on the timeline...

As my fav punch line goes: "It's all in the Mind".

Many thoughts have been circling my head since my last post on the “Must-Attend-Wedding”; May be because I had censored a lot of thoughts cutting it short…

After all, you’ve always been brave whenever there has been a need for it… The present requirement to-be-brave has been completed. :P Now neither is your support sought after, nor do you plan to seek any… So you Release all the unfinished thoughts, Decide to “End-the-Symbiosis” & stay away from potentially dangerous situations. ;) After all, if you are that good friends, you would certainly re-discover your friendship some day in the timeline!!

A rather heavy decision to take… But yeah it seems logically correct. And you somehow feel all light. Even before you know it, there you are smiling J

Ok one issue solved.  What about the major one now?

Well, what’s the time?

Ohh it’s almost 3pm now. And you are reluctantly reminded of the couple of interviews scheduled at 4. You drag your ass back to the laptop, opening your CV & some of the training materials…trying to recollect what projects you worked on in the last 4 years… Although you don’t care about the interview, but still somehow your heartbeat manages to rise in anticipation of the approaching hour… This is your 1^st interview after say, about 5 years..

You get the call from the 1^st MNC at sharp 4pm… The interview has a lady at a high management post & a technical guy (You somehow feel more confident than him). About 40 mins…And BOOM goes your interview… I feel if you are enjoying a certain state, then it’s going right & great J

You get the 2^nd call from the 2^nd MNC at sharp 5pm. This time it is a technical guy, ready with his notes, questionnaire and answers to those :P … He starts asking all small, miniscule details of the tool that you handled last, hmmmm say 8-10 months ago. You laugh him off & in 2 minutes you mutually decide to call off the meeting :P :P

Now you get a call back from the 1^st company with their positive feedback, with a wish to send you off to their client location in Australia ASAP for about 6 months…

BANG!! The Big Issue hits you back…

You get off from the table... stroll about the house. Ah there you find a window & a lush green field in front of it. J

Some uncle carrying vegies for his home... A bunch of kids teasing each other, playing cricket… Some kid going about in circles, riding his new bicycle… Some guy going about in circles ;) talking on the phone, smiling… At a far off distance, a couple of kids returning from school, shirts out, bags still on, playing football as they approach their houses…You keep staring, lost in your own thoughts, biting your nails off :P

No. No. No! No Solution…

You again set off strolling about the house & stop in front of Tiki Mausi & narrate the interview details. She shouts back at you, “What the hell is going on? Do you REALLY want to join? What about the joining for MTech next month? What about TIP Foundations? What path do you want to take?”

Well, that’s THE big issue!!! A million dollar question: Which path to take? You wonder, “Is it only me? Or do others get confused as well?”

You smile back with your confused thoughts & questioning look… She calmly replies, “So the land of Kangaroos it is, is it?”

“Jaanini” (dunno), Is all you come up with…

…To Be Contd.

A Must-Attend-Wedding!!

How do you deal with heartburns?

Oh, I move on...After all it is the way it should be..

But what happens if the gal, you liked once, is still one of your best friends & she insists you to be present on her wedding?

Well, since I have moved on, I dont mind being present to support her on her big day....

That's how the trip begins from Mumbai to Pune to Nagpur to Jabalpur admist the summer heat...Covering about 1200 km of Rail and Road ways. Thank God for the AC vehicles & hotels. The best part of the whole journey unfolds as each halt adds an additional member of your gang n by the time you reach the destination, you have become 5 people from 1 :o)

A get-together after almost 2 years, an anxious wait at the airport (waiting for 1 of us), a moonlight lit dinner at a roadside Dhaabaa, a 3-star hotel room to rest (arrangement for guests @ wedding ), a bottle of tequila specially brought from the duty free region while an onsite visit ;), ordering lemons from the hotel staff on pretext of the bride's mehendi, fighting over the spent lemon quarters, a special singing session to serve the after effects and a stroll near the swimming pool.....The next morning you get up smiling, suprisingly without a hangover and look at each of the faces and think: "Ohh, it's for real, was no dream" :o)

Couldn't ask for more, eh?

The next 2 days follow with the rituals for the wedding and all.

You keep seeing the bride in her yellow and red attires....looking her best... And you go like: DAMN!!

You expected her to look fat and ugly, so that you could think, "O yeah, Grapes are Sour" :P :P

Well, it's neither the-old-feeling-of-love rushing in, nor is it a new-found one.. The best word to explain the feeling is "Weird".

Somehow many thoughts rush in... The old days of your stupidity... Your Naive so-called-Proposal..and your denying it to be a proposal (I still deny it to be a proposal :P ).. The days of hoping that one day "May be She would give this a thought"...

All those nights of free calling (reduced rates)... Her endless blabberings over the phone... Her warnings of not trying to act smart or try to Woo her... Her un-proficiency (if it's a word) of understanding your poems... The first ever sketch sketched by you (of her ofcourse ;) )...

No. Your thoughts do not seem to stop....

Her stupid (Guess only gals can make & understand such reasons :P) stand of not adulterating friendship with love... Your burning of all the letters, records, related thoughts to wipe them away from the mind...

Thoughts still keep spamming you..

Many Negative thoughts keep hitting you... And you keep Hushing them n praying to God for forgiveness & to keep everything around happy n merry-going as they are...

You see people dancing, having fun. And you get confused...

You dont want to Be or look sad and be the spoilsport for others....

Your thoughts do not let you be happy at the turn of events..

Your Self ridicules you at the thought of enjoying at such an event...

And somehow your roomy's voice sings the song "Mubarakh ho tumko yeh shaadi tumhari" in your ears and you laugh out loud looking all stupid :D

Somehow you concentrate on the goodies of the occassion, the food ;), your gang (minus the busy bride ofcourse), the TV in the hotel room and the outings....praying for the MUST-ATTEND-WEDDING to end happily soon, RELEASING you off the gruesome memories....Back to your new world of Opportunities... :) :P

As you move back from Jabalpur to Mumbai, this time in a non-AC-literally burning and stinking train, with your friends besides you, Somehow you like the ambience more than the ac rooms of the 3-star hotel...Feeling happy to have left behind "those thoughts", "those Weird Feelings"; Releasing them off your Subconscious as you embark on a New Journey. :)

...I think my Experiences make the prices I pay for them worthwhile...